Spoon Wars
by Alice Harkey
Summary: It's the battle of the century as Lucy and Levy go head to head with the guild's abundant supply of silverware. Watch out, Lucy's got a spoon and she's not afraid to use it! Rated T for swearing. Hints of NaLu and GaLe!


**AN/: hey! This is a short one-shot inspired by my friend's story, "Underwear Day". Sorry it's short, but I wrote it on my iPod. It takes a lot longer than on the computer. I hope you guys enjoy it! **

Spoon Wars

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It was a not so normal day at Fairy Tail. It all started when Levy paid Lucy a nice little visit. In fact, let's look at that little exchange now.

"Lu-chan, did you finish your book yet?" Levy asked hopefully. Lucy heaved a sigh a turned to face the Solid Script mage.

"Levy-chan, I told you it's not done yet. Between all the missions for rent money and Natsu barging into my apartment I hardly have any time to work on it." She ran a band through her disheveled hair. "By the time I do have time to sit down and write I'm so frustrated and stressed that I can't write anything good."

Levy let a pout slip onto her face. She really wanted to read Lucy's book. From what she heard Natsu had managed to get ahold of it. Of course she'd immediately gone to questioning him on what he read. His answers only made her more anxious for Lucy's book to be done.

Lucy looked to see Levy sporting what she dubbed as "the look." She wanted something and that something was Lucy's book... Completed.

"Levy-chan, I just want to relax, to have some fun!" Lucy exclaimed. Levy nodded slowly. She wanted to have fun, huh?

"Lu-chan, do you still remember our spoon joke?" the petit bluenette asked. The celestial spirit mage cocked her head to the side.

"Sure I do... Why?" she asked hesitantly. Levy smirked and headed into the kitchen. "What are you doing?" She was a little scared now.

"Fear me!" Levy shouted as she returned from her journey to the kitchen. She held up a silver colored spoon and it dramatically sparkled in the sunlight shining in through Lucy's window. Lucy laughed at the small girl.

"Oh god! It's a spoon! She's got a spoon!" Lucy cried out shielding her face with her arms. Darting past Levy as quick as she could she made it into the kitchen and yanked open her bowl drawer. She grabbed her big soup bowl and placed it on her head like a helmet. She grabbed a big pot lid, too. She would need a shield.

The next drawer she got into was her silverware drawer. She had to hurry or Levy could attack her by surprise. She grabbed a handful of the silverware hoping to God that shed grabbed a couple of spoons.

There was a clunk and Lucy jumped about a foot off the ground. Levy had just thrown her spoon! Boy was she lucky it missed her! Lucy glared at the little bookworm with a small smirk on her face.

"You know the rules, Lu-chan," Levy said with a small smile playing on her lips. She placed a small strainer on her head and picked up a makeshift shield of her own, grabbing another spoon from the drawer. She lifted it in the air toward Lucy. Lucy picked out her spoon and did the same.

"Lucy Heartfilia, this is my formal declaration of war against you!" Levy stated with her chin held high.

"Nyahahaha~! You have no idea what you've just done! If it's a war you want then so be it. Levy McGarden, I accept your challenge. Let this mark the beginning of a great and mighty battle. Hence forth we are engaged in a war of spoons! Let the battle commence!" Lucy shouted.

Levy chucked her spoon at the blonde, just barely missing her when she ducked out of the way.

"Good luck winning without any ammunition!" Levy shouted. Lucy gasped at the sight of Levy running off with her whole damn silverware drawer. That wasn't fair! And she was most likely going back to her own home to get her own supplies. She would also most likely try to gather done ally forces. Lucy had to act fast.

The blonde raced over to her desk to pull out her ink. She dabbed her first two fingers in it lightly and streaked it across her cheeks.

"The Spoon Wars are on!" Quickly she dashed from her apartment and to the guild. She slammed the doors open hard and bolted in. "Has Levy been here yet?" Lucy asked frantically.

"Hey Luce!" Natsu greeted happily. He cocked an eyebrow at his best friend's appearance. "What'ch'ya got there?" he asked pointing to the bowl on her head.

"I said has Levy McGarden been here?" Lucy asked again more demandingly. Natsu shook his head slowly. "Good!" she yelled! She sprinted toward the bar and Mirajane shrieked, jumping out of the way. The blonde launched herself over the bar counter... almost.

"Oof!" was the sound that came from the floor behind the bar. She jumped up and straightened her clothes and soup-bowl helmet out. "I'm alright," she said in a soft, meek voice. She picked up her silverware and bolted into the kitchen.

"Luce what are you doing?" Natsu called curiously. He could hear her pulling drawers right out of the counters, forks, knives, and spoons making all kinds of clatter as they fell to the floor. Suddenly she popped her head out of the kitchen and fixed a hard stare on the pink-haired fire mage.

"You!" she shouted pointing at her partner. "I'm recruiting you!"

"Huh?"

"Natsu, is Lucy okay?" Happy asked worriedly. Natsu shrugged.

"You too, cat! Get over here!" Lucy ordered. Their guild mates were watching curiously and were already taking bets on just what was going on. As soon as Natsu and Happy got close to their weird teammate she shoved them handfuls of spoons with some forks and knives. Next she gave them their own makeshift helmets. They let out surprised yelps when Lucy shoved large pot lids I to their arms.

"Situation report: we're currently at war! You two are on my side."

"Why?" Natsu asked. It's not like he minded, he just wanted to know why they were on her side. And who were they fighting against? A war? Should they tell the master?

"'Cause we're a team anyways. Now listen, this is very important! This isn't an ordinary war. This is a Spoon War. No matter what, don't get hit by a spoon. They are the most powerful weapon in our arsenal. The enemy is Levy McGarden. I'm not sure if she's recruited anyone else yet, so be on the lookout. We have to secure all be spoons in the area, now GO, GO, GO!"

Lucy went back to foraging for spoons in the guild kitchen. Natsu and Happy did as they were told gathering as much ammunition as they could. Her heard he guild doors open.

"Luce, we've got a situation. The enemy has entered the guild," Natsu said. Lucy snapped her gaze to the front of the guild.

"Shit! She's got Gajeel with her! I've gotta get more recruits now!" She raced to get more bowls and pots.

"Mira, welcome to my army!" She shoved the cookware onto the barmaid's head. "Go see Dragneel. He'll give you all the information you need. Now move soldier!"

Her recruitment went like that for a short time. She'd ended up recruiting Mirajane, Gray, Romeo, Cana, Charla, Elfman, and a few other members. Levy had managed to recruit Gajeel, Pantherlilly, Evergreen, Wendy, Max, Nab, Jet, and Droy.

"Now everyone, this is war, but we mustn't let the civilians get hurt! Me and Natsu will man the front lines for now. GO!" With very little warning Lucy bolted after Levy.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!" Lucy let out her war cry tackling Levy to the ground.

"Look! Nab has a spoon aimed at Commander Lucy!" Happy screamed.

"Aaaaahhhhh!" was he war cry the rest of Lucy's small army gave as they tackled Nab to the floor and disarmed him.

In the far left of the guild Elfman an Evergreen were throwing silverware at each other. To the right Romeo and Wendy were duking it out with butter knives, since actual knives were against the Spoon War regulations. Charla used the opportunity to chase Happy around with a fork while he flew away crying about how she never chased after him any other time except when she was trying to kill him. Natsu and Gajeel took right center stage while Lucy and Levy took left center stage. They were throwing spoons.

Lucy threw her last spoon, which Levy tucked and rolled to avoid.

"Dammit! That was my last spoon!" she cursed.

"Me too," Natsu yelled back.

"Natsu, retreat to the kitchen!" Lucy commanded. The two ran to the kitchen frantically in hopes of getting more spoons. Lucy gathered as many spoons as she could.

"Uh, Lucy they're headed this way," Natsu warned. He felt cold metal being shoved into his hands.

"Here start throwing," the blonde said breathlessly.

"Whoa, what about a plan?" Natsu shouted shocked.

"No time for that! Just start throwing!"

Natsu complied and began to throw the spoons at Gajeel and Levy. Gajeel was just eating them as he caught them with his mouth. Dammit!

"Erza! You're on my side!" Lucy suddenly shouted. The two advancing enemies gasped and turned to see the scarlet-haired mage entering the guild.

"No fair! Erza be on my side!" Levy countered. Erza looked at both of them calmly.

"No," was her simple reply. Lucy frantically thought if a way to persuade her to join her side before Levy did.

"I get you strawberry cake for a month!" Lucy blurted out. Erza perked up at the offer and accepted. Lucy gave her instructions as fast as she could while she dragged her away from Gajeel and Levy, dodging flying silverware as she went.

"We'reinthemiddleofaSpoonWarandit'smeagainstLevy!s poonsarethedeadliestweaponssodon'tgeyhit!" Lucy said in one breath. Erza nodded sternly.

"God dammit! Stupid red-headed bitch!" Gajeel yelled furiously. He immediately regretted it. Erza sent him a glare that had everyone within 15ft. shivering in fear. She yanked a spoon out of Lucy's hand and whipped it at the Iron Dragon Slayer. It made contact with his forehead, making a loud "thunk!"

"NOOO! He was my best soldier! Gajeeeeeelll!" Levy cried as the iron-eater fell to the ground. Lucy took this time to tackle Levy again. The pixie-like girl screeched, toppling over onto the ground.

"No!" Levy cried out as Lucy lifted a spoon over the script mage's head. Lucy brought it down hard, but stopped just before the metal made contact with her head.

"Bonk." Lucy let the big end of the spoon fall onto Levy's head. Levy pretended to die, her had falling to the side and her tongue flopping out of her mouth.

"Nyaaaaaaaahahahahaha~! I told you, you had no idea what you got yourself into! The war is won!" Lucy shouted catching everyone's attention. She lifted her spoon onto the air. "Levy McGarden has been defeated!" She smiled victoriously panting from all the physical exertion. Lucy's party cheered in celebration, except for Erza who was already threatening Lucy for her strawberry cake.

Levy stood up and dusted herself off taking a seat on a chair that wasn't smashed. Lucy sat beside her and they looked around before looking at each other.

"Good game, Levy-chan. Bringing on Gajeel... Tsk! Well played," Lucy complimented.

"You didn't do so bad yourself. Pfft! Luring in Erza with cake... Why didn't I think of that?" Levy sighed and giggled. "The first person you had join was Natsu, huh? You like him, Lu-chan~!" Levy teased. Lucy blushed deep red.

"W-well what about you? You went and grabbed Gajeel pretty quickly! I know you like him, Levy-chan! You might ever looove him~!" Lucy teased back. Levy blushed, too. She denied it profusely, but laughed about it after Lucy broke down into laughter. Their laughter died down and they let out a contented sigh.

"We completely demolished this place," Lucy said nonchalantly. Levy nodded in agreement. Indeed the place was pretty much demolished. Most of the tables were smashed along with the chairs. There were small holes in the walls and even some in the floor.

"We're so dead," Levy said casually.

"Yep..." Lucy replied. The two sat there for a little while before suddenly bee-lining to the guild doors. They stopped at the half broken doors.

"This was all Natsu and Gray, got it?" Lucy said motioning to the destruction around them. "We had nothing to do with it! Bye!"

And with that the two ran back to Lucy's apartment as fast as they could. Finally, Lucy had some good ideas for the next chapters if her novel.

That, my friends, is the history of Fairy Tail's Great Spoon War!

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**END NOTE: well what do you think? Review please! Pie for now! **

**~Alice-chan**


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